John got me these gorgeous orchids to say “Yeah! Now you’re working from home and can work in your PJ’s all day, yeah for you CONGRATULATIONS!” They are gorgeous. I love them.
I am doting on these suckers like you wouldn’t believe and if they die there is a good chance I will go into 200 days of mourning.
I mean, they are ORCHIDS for heaven’s sake. Aren’t they, like, the flower equivalent of a vegetarian, celiac, dander allergic daddy’s girl? I have googled, “holy shit, my orchids are wilty, I THINK I KILLED MY ORCHIDS” about 100 times already and I am not showing signs of slowing.
Please orchids: DON’T DIE. I will give you whatever you want. Just… Don’t. Die.