This is a follow up post to two previous posts:
- one about when I became a vegetarian 15 years ago
- one about my first date after quitting the whole vegetarian thing 5 years ago
So. Guess what. I’VE DECIDED TO BECOME A VEGETARIAN AGAIN.
Dun, dun, duunnnnnnnnnn.
Bring on the insightful commentary/questions/wisdom my dear non-veggie cronies:
- No wonder you are so pale, you don’t get enough nutrients. (I have been a vegetarian for exactly ONE MONTH. Looked like Casper a couple months ago as well. Nice try.)
- How do you know vegetables don’t have feelings? Maybe you shouldn’t eat vegetables either. Poor vegetables. (Come in real close here, so I can cuff you upside the head.)
- Oh my GOD, what do you eat? (Twigs and bark, obviously.)
It’s a big decision, this whole vegetarian lifestyle thing. For the last 5 non-vegetarian years I didn’t have to be the princess who rsvp’d to weddings and made MY OWN box to check, “no chicken or fish for me please… vegetarian please… so, so, sooo sorry… thank you… please…” Once again I’ll be “that girl.” Good times.
It’s not my fault though, really. It’s Peter’s fault:
Too harsh? Sorry, sorry. Let’s define “asshole.” If your definition of “asshole” includes cramming so many egg-laying chickens into a battery cage that they can’t move and their feet fuse to the floor wires*, then we’re on the same page. If you think taking veal calves away from their mothers and any other source of stimulation and keeping them without bedding in a crate so small they can’t even lie down to sleep without difficulty until they are slaughtered at 4 months**… then I’d say our definition of “asshole” is the same.
Remind you of something? Puppy mill maybe? Huh.
WAIT! Don’t leave! I know this is a wee bit political. Sorry. I’ll chill out.
Rainbows! Unicorns! Fricking sparkles and fairy dust!
Ya still with me?
I’m not totally sure if I won’t ever eat ANY meat at all. Right now I am eating dairy and eggs, but I am not overly okay with that after learning more about dairy cow’s shitty deal and, well, I already griped about the plight of egg-laying chickens.
I’m thinking I’m going to call myself a Freeatarian. That’s right, people. I just made up a word. Here is the correct^ definition:
Freeatrian = I’ll eat animal products if I know the animals were free range and were raised and killed humanely
(too graphic for you? they have to kill it before we can eat it, y’all)
That is a high bar, I know this. I see a lot of vegetarian meals in my future. I will let you know how things go.
What about you? Vegetarian? Vegan? Carnivore? … Freeatarian, maybe?
* I’m not making this up. Read more in Animal Liberation.
** Read more in Animal Liberation.
^ Just googled “freeatarian.” It would seem that some have messed up the definition to mean “will eat anything that is free.” This is incorrect. Mega wrong. My definition is clearly better.