poof and all of a sudden

My friend’s dog died on Saturday. I don’t know all the details but from what I understand it was sudden. She was 8 years old.

I always have in my head that we have about 10 years with Mickey and Kayloo. Not in a morbid way, it’s not like I am always thinking about that time frame. It’s just there, somewhere, in the back of my mind.

1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10. It’s not a very long time. 10 years ago I was 22. I was living in Japan. I was eating tofu and buying cheap platform boots and drinking shochu and dozing on the early morning train home after a night out in Roppongi. And after that life and more school and no more platform boots and marriage and poof. 10 years. Just like that.

Looking at a beloved little creature within the context of a decade drives home for me just how impermanent all… this is. Sometimes good stuff happens, sometimes bad stuff happens… but either way none of it lasts very long.

Who cares about 10 years or 12 years or 20 years if I don’t take right now? If I don’t pay attention 10 years will dissolve in a whir of To Do lists and passive daydreams. If I don’t pay attention TODAY will go by and what will I miss? Who will I miss talking to? Whose fur won’t I get to brush off my pants? How much dog slobber won’t I get all over my hands? Whose stories and songs won’t I get to hear?

That’s all.

I’m sorry my friend’s dog died on Saturday. I’m so sorry.

19 Responses to “poof and all of a sudden”

  1. It still boggles my mind that Jersey is 7 1/2 years old. Where did the time go?! I still think of her as a puppy. Please send your friend my condolances.

  2. Kari says:

    I hate that these amazing creatures live such short lives


  3. Oscar will be 10 in April and I can’t believe where the years have gone. I cherish every day with Sir Fetch-a-lot.

  4. I hate thinking about the mortality of my dogs.

    My childhood dog who lives with my parents is so old now, she can’t have more than a year left. Knowing that in two years she wont be with us, no longer a staple in our lives is so heart breaking. Her death will mark a chapter in our lives I am not sure I want to reach.

    Equally hard when I look at the dog snuggling on my lap and think, “You’re almost two.” It seemed like 5 seconds ago she was 10 pounds of crazy running through my kitchen causing terror. I can’t even picture a life without her.

    They need to find a way to extend the lives of our pets.

    Why can’t dogs be like parrots? 40 years together…

  5. Kristine says:

    I am sorry too.

    I’ve been trying to find a way to write about the dogs I’ve had in my life who are no more. Even after all this time, it isn’t easy.

  6. Amy says:

    You are so right. I need to live in TODAY more often before all of a sudden…it’s gone. Thank you for the reminder.

    • @Amy- Exactly! There is so much in a day I can’t control, my only chance is to influence the things I can. I *can* sit down and look out the window while I’m eating lunch rather than skimming news headlines or articles or (gasp!) blog posts. I can smile. I can take my dogs for a walk in the rain.

      Holy crap, if we don’t enjoy today, what day ARE we going to enjoy? This is it!

  7. Kim Clune says:

    Our Bill died suddenly in late 2009. We were playing tug-of-war on a perfect Sunday morning. He was full of happy energy. And then an undetected mass ruptured in his abdomen, a blood clot went straight to his lungs, and our lives were turned upside down for months.

    Of course these things haunt us as human beings and, in the back of our minds, we think about what might be missing one day. Thankfully, our new rescue dogs, Shamus and Emmett, as well as our new rescue cats, Jackson and Jed, teach us that good things can happen in the face of such tragic loss if we remain open to possibility. Bill would be happy to know we helped more animals like him.

    The notion of possibility can never take that initial pain away, but I hope it offers some small comfort to your friend down the road, after the healing has begun.

    • @Kim- I am very sorry about your Bill.

      I don’t think I could say it any better than you have. Knowing we only have a certain amount of time with Mickey and Kayloo and how much it is going to hurt when they are gone I wouldn’t for a second wish away the time we *do* have.

      Just the same, knowing I only have a certain amount of time here makes me remember to revel in all the crazy wonderfulness I have access to.

      Fav quote: Live like your going to die tomorrow. Learn like your going to live forever.

  8. Trude says:

    I’m so sorry to hear that too. My condolences to your friend! My pup Dante is incredibly good at reminding me about the NOW that everyone always talks about. I have a hard time doing it for myself (classic womanly failure, right?), but for him, pretty much always. Even if its just a quick tummy rub. It makes him feel better, it makes me feel better, its a win-win every time. :)

    • @Trude- My dogs remind me to laugh… at myself… at others (I’m married, remember? ;) bwahahahaha!)… and random stuff I see. At the end of the day there is a LOT of funny shit out there. There is a lot of hard stuff… I’m trying to remember to breath into the hard stuff and laugh when the opportunity is there.

  9. This is so hard to hear about. When I was first looking to adopt Miss M, they told me bullies only typically live 8-10 years, which kind of shocked me. But then we know plenty of bullies that have lived longer; our neighbor had 16 and 17 year old pitbulls. We’re just so happy with them, we’re making the most of everything.

  10. Amazing the difference ten years can make. So sorry to hear about your friend’s dog.

  11. Kim says:

    One of my many dogs died suddenly too – Pierre. It was the first snow of the winter that day and he had just finished his walk and collapsed. Before it happened, there had been a dead black crow at the bottom of my front steps. I couldn’t help but wonder about that afterwards. In any event, I’ve lost so many of my beloved furry companions and it is never easy no matter when it happens. Life is truly short – dogs seem to keep this in mind better than we do :-)