The 31 weeks pregnant bump is loud and proud, y’all! It is especially noticable when I bend down to pick up one of the gagillion things I drop on the floor each day.
My facial expression looks a little pinched, doesn’t it? That’s because 14 seconds after these were taken I started crying (this meltdown was much worse than this meltdown). I started crying because John had finished cleaning up some dishes before going into Photographer-of-the-Belly mode and a few clicks into our fabulous photo shoot I noticed there was some water on his hands (that’s right, he was doing dishes AND being my photographer and I STILL freaked out. I. Am. A Keeper).
Me: John… are your hands wet? Could you dry them off, please? The camera…
John: They’re dry (wipes hands on his pants)
I mean, really? Were the tears necessary? An eyeroll would have suited this situation. Or perhaps a well placed glare followed up with a towel thrown at him for good measure. But did we need the ugly cry face ? Probably not.
I’m not an overly emotional person. Although, I suppose what I ought to say is I didn’t used to be an overly emotional person. It’s not like suddenly I think everything is a really big deal. I know most things are normal sized deals, but my responses to all sized deals are getting increasingly out of proportion.
One way I have found to cope is to ignore the thing that is going to make me cry altogether. Sad TV show about kid who gets cancer= change the channel asap to something mindless and colourful. Blog post about whales dying = close browser pronto and look at funny pictures of cats. This is quite an effective strategy. Problem is, I’ve started doing it to people.
I was at an awards event last week (John’s health clinic was nominated for an award, what, what!) and I was talking with a woman whose company had also been nominated (she was nominated in a different category so it wasn’t like I was franternizing with the enemy or anything). She has a little boy and we were talking about the ridiculous emotional ups and downs that can strike at any time during pregnancy. I said to her, “I’m normally a pretty rational, logical person so this is kind of throwing me for a loop.” She shared a really sweet anecdote about how when a woman becomes a mom she can never expect to totally be in control of her emotions again because when that baby is born he takes a piece of his mom’s heart in his. From that point forward there is a piece of that woman’s heart out in the world, forever out of her control.
… Or something like that. It was beautiful. But I am probably screwing it up because I couldn’t focus on what she was saying with 100% of my attention because I was going to lose it RIGHT THERE ALL OVER MY PLACE SETTING. There was a pretty centerpiece on the table, everyone was all dressed up all fancy and there I was doing whatever I could to distract myself from hurling myself to the ground in a lumpy heap of snot and cried out mascara, wailing at the precious beauty of it all.
So, if you’re talking to me and saying something touching and all sweet as hell and you notice that I have suddenly developed a vague, stoned look in my eye don’t be offended. I’m not high. I’m just ignoring you.
It’s in everyone’s best interest. Trust me.
More belly bump pics:
30 weeks pregnant- no photos! I missed it! Ack!
29 weeks pregnant (fitness edition)
28 weeks pregnant (bring, do, take & an ode to accepting help)
27 weeks pregnant (christmas edition)
26 weeks pregnant (psychedelic tool edition)
25 weeks pregnant (clean freak)
23 weeks pregnant (the meltdown)
22 weeks pregnant (grand canyon edition)