It’s impossible, but there you have it: My little Monkey Pants is one.
A year ago Naomi was born at home upstairs in her room.
A year ago my water broke at 2 o’clock in the morning and 10 hours later a warm 6lbs 10oz ball of baby was laying against my chest (I still haven’t shared my Birth Story with you… I have to do that… I WILL do that).
A year ago John was timing contractions. I was trying to visualize ocean waves but I ended up thinking about the Game of Thrones because we had watched it the night before (NOT a good visualization to go with during labour in case you are wondering).
A year ago John was on the phone with my parents saying “It’s time” and they were flying through the air and the land on their way to us.
A year ago I was sitting on an exercise ball at the end of my bed trying to relax my shoulders. John sat with me as the waves came. My doula said, “10 more seconds” and I knew I could handle just 10 more seconds.
A year ago I lay in a birth pool in the dark often forgetting that once this was all over I was going to be a mother. My doula said, “You can do this, Shauna. You can figure it out,” and somehow I figured out how to help my body do what it was doing.
A year ago an earthquake pulled through me and I joined a league of women that spans countries and languages and methods and time. We call ourselves “mom” and “mother” and “ma” (+ a whole host of other names my ears don’t know) and as I lay in the water tracking the earthquake in one second I questioned if I could do it and in the next I knew I could. As the hours went by I did not think about that league of women, but they were there.
And I did it.
So, this is Naomi’s Birthday and it’s my Birth Day.
This day will always bring me back to confident, strong hands (my midwives, my doula, John, my mom), apples and peanut butter (my post baby snack of choice), a bright white magnolia tree blooming on the front lawn and the memory of an earthquake. My earthquake.
(i don’t know how to explain my relationship with this “earthquake…” my only choice was to participate… I’ll keep thinking of how to describe it…)
If you’re a parent you’ll understand when I say that obviously this year has not been an unending parade of unicorns and rainbows (I am ridiculously sleep deprived right now… when do they sleep?) but I have loved my year. I have loved my year with Naomi. I have loved what she has taught me, I have loved what I have learned. John and I are the same but forever changed. The earth continues to quake.
Our only choice has been to participate fully.
It’s such a glad choice.
Happy Birthday sweet, spunky Naomi.