End of the day with the dogs. Bliss.

The 31 weeks pregnant bump is loud and proud, y’all! It is especially noticable when I bend down to pick up one of the gagillion things I drop on the floor each day.

My facial expression looks a little pinched, doesn’t it? That’s because 14 seconds after these were taken I started crying (this meltdown was much worse than this meltdown). I started crying because John had finished cleaning up some dishes before going into Photographer-of-the-Belly mode and a few clicks into our fabulous photo shoot I noticed there was some water on his hands (that’s right, he was doing dishes AND being my photographer and I STILL freaked out. I. Am. A Keeper).

Me: John… are your hands wet? Could you dry them off, please? The camera…

John: They’re dry (wipes hands on his pants)

Me: WaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

I mean, really? Were the tears necessary? An eyeroll would have suited this situation. Or perhaps a well placed glare followed up with a towel thrown at him for good measure. But did we need the ugly cry face ? Probably not.

I’m not an overly emotional person. Although, I suppose what I ought to say is I didn’t used to be an overly emotional person. It’s not like suddenly I think everything is a really big deal. I know most things are normal sized deals, but my responses to all sized deals are getting increasingly out of proportion.

One way I have found to cope is to ignore the thing that is going to make me cry altogether. Sad TV show about kid who gets cancer= change the channel asap to something mindless and colourful. Blog post about whales dying = close browser pronto and look at funny pictures of cats. This is quite an effective strategy. Problem is, I’ve started doing it to people.

I was at an awards event last week (John’s health clinic was nominated for an award, what, what!) and I was talking with a woman whose company had also been nominated (she was nominated in a different category so it wasn’t like I was franternizing with the enemy or anything). She has a little boy and we were talking about the ridiculous emotional ups and downs that can strike at any time during pregnancy. I said to her, “I’m normally a pretty rational, logical person so this is kind of throwing me for a loop.” She shared a really sweet anecdote about how when a woman becomes a mom she can never expect to totally be in control of her emotions again because when that baby is born he takes a piece of his mom’s heart in his. From that point forward there is a piece of that woman’s heart out in the world, forever out of her control.

… Or something like that. It was beautiful. But I am probably screwing it up because I couldn’t focus on what she was saying with 100% of my attention because I was going to lose it RIGHT THERE ALL OVER MY PLACE SETTING. There was a pretty centerpiece on the table, everyone was all dressed up all fancy and there I was doing whatever I could to distract myself from hurling myself to the ground in a lumpy heap of snot and cried out mascara, wailing at the precious beauty of it all.

So, if you’re talking to me and saying something touching and all sweet as hell and you notice that I have suddenly developed a vague, stoned look in my eye don’t be offended. I’m not high. I’m just ignoring you.

It’s in everyone’s best interest. Trust me.

More belly bump pics:

30 weeks pregnant- no photos! I missed it! Ack!

29 weeks pregnant (fitness edition)

28 weeks pregnant (bring, do, take & an ode to accepting help)

27 weeks pregnant (christmas edition)

26 weeks pregnant (psychedelic tool edition)

25 weeks pregnant (clean freak)

24 weeks pregnant

23 weeks pregnant (the meltdown)

22 weeks pregnant (grand canyon edition)

21 weeks pregnant

20 weeks pregnant

19 weeks pregnant

18 weeks pregnant

This is a sunrise. I’m not sure if you are aware of this, but sunrises happen really early in the morning. For this reason I don’t see a lot of sunrises. I prefer to sleep through them.

This was on the ferry from Victoria to Vancouver before Christmas. John and I were heading over to the Big Smoke to pick up fantastic hand-me-down baby stuff from family and friends.

I am told the bambino is going to introduce me to lots of sunrises. That’s cool. I have a camera and the babe is eventually going to grow up and have boyfriends/girlfriends come over and I will be more than happy to share photographic evidence of his or her lack-o-coolness.

It’ll all work out in the end.

Plus, sunrises are quite beautiful I suppose…

My family is visiting us to help with the painting right now.

And this dog? This dog right here is an absolute hit with them.

She may be rather crap on leash. She may slobber all over your face every damn time you bend down to tie your shoe. She may kind of smell regardless of whether she’s just had a bath or not. But for all her faults, Kayloo is the kind of dog who just can’t help but beam her love all over you.

So far everyone seems to beam their love right back.

And I just all over love her for that.

Yours truly, pretending to be sporty at 29 weeks pregnant.

My work out regime right now basically consists of walking the dogs. I walk them 1-2 hours a day with a couple long hikes on the weekend. Over Christmas I went to the gym a couple times and pumped it up (pump it, PUMP IT, PUMP IT!!!) with some weight training, but really the only thing I do with consistency is march my dogs around town.

That march is getting a bit slower.

It’s getting a bit more precarious as well because it is difficult to discern how far I will get on any particular excursion. One day I can walk and walk and walk and walk and the next I’ll be 20 mins in and my bladder, without warning, will start to shriek, “PEE!!! You need to pee woman!!! THIS IS AN EMERGENCY. Find bathroom NOW!!!” So I hoof ‘er on home, dragging my confused dogs behind me (who would probably like to pee on some stuff as well), a little shocked because I am SURE I made sure to be on “Empty” before leaving the house. Finally I get home, the Mission Impossible theme song blaring in my temples, and upon throwing myself upon the porcelain thone… I am usually rather disappointed with my performance.

“Really? I waddle-ran home for this?”

At the very least my body could give me Super Big Gulp volume considering the sprint I put in to get to the loo. But nope. I am now at the mercy of a thimble full.

Awesome.

More belly bump pics:

28 weeks pregnant (bring, do, take & an ode to accepting help)

27 weeks pregnant (christmas edition)

26 weeks pregnant (psychedelic tool edition)

25 weeks pregnant (clean freak)

24 weeks pregnant

23 weeks pregnant (the meltdown)

22 weeks pregnant (grand canyon edition)

21 weeks pregnant

20 weeks pregnant

19 weeks pregnant

18 weeks pregnant

You know that nesting thing I was talking about earlier? Yeah. In. Full. Swing.

I have cleaned out 1/2 of the cupboards in the kitchen, sold a box of books to a local bookstore, gave away a box of old-to-me-I’m-so-glad-it’s-useful-to-you crap stuff, and sold the futon that used to live in the spare room (soon to be the baby room). And I finally got our wedding album together- I’ll share photos very soon.

Next up: Painting the house! My mom, brother and John are going to throw some paint around and make our home snazzy, sparkly and new looking. I am going to hide from the fumes and do something important called Keeping An Eye On Things with maybe a little Bossing Y’all Around thrown in for good measure (knowing my family I will NOT get away with that second one). My role in this is clearly quite important.

I am starting to feel, well, pregnant. My zest for attacking dressers with a vengence is waning a wee little bit. It’s not completely gone or anything, I’m just feeling like I’d like a nap mid-attack.

Speaking of naps…

The 28 weeks pregnant photo! I am now 7 months pregnant. Kayloo is usually pretty flexible when it comes to posing. Mickey takes a bit more coaxing. Fancies himself a dog model or some such thing.

Guess what! I recently learned that I have been pretty much completely useless when it comes to visiting someone with a new little bundle of joy (a friend of mine shared with me what she learned at her prenatal class).

It’s okay! I’m not beating myself up too much about the whole thing. I figure it’s like trying to be helpful in any area you don’t have direct personal experience with. I’m about as helpful with babies as I would be helping someone relandscape their yard. Sure, I could hazard a guess, but really, what the hell do I know about big rocks and fountains and little gnomes? Nothing.

So, now that I am armed with direction I thought I would share my newfound knowledge just in case I wasn’t the only one who was doing it wrong.

Turns out, when you go to visit a family with a newborn, it’s not necessarily a “visit” but a chance to help. In all honesty, they mostly likely don’t have the time or presence of mind to chat (as much as they would love to catch up, in the beginning most new parents only have baby poop, pee and a distant hope for sleep on the brain). A few short weeks ago mom and dad had control over how they spent their time… NOW however, mom and dad are ecstatic but shellshocked and no matter how much reading and planning they did beforehand their world has been completely turned upside down by 10 lbs of baby-ness.

So, once mom or dad has said it’s okay to drop by (make sure you ask, some folks are okay with the random drop by, some folks want a few weeks to get their druthers) the rule of thumb is this:

1. Bring something
2. Do something
3. Take something away

For example:

1. Bring some apples
2. Do some dishes
3. Take some garbage away

Or:

1. Bring a casserole (a few friends have said ready-made food was the BEST gift they received)
2. Take the dog(s) outside for a walk
3. Take some mail to the post office (maybe they have Thank You cards they want to send out)

Or:

1. Bring some toilet paper (or nipple cream or whatever else they say they need)
2. Occupy baby while mom goes and has a shower or takes a nap (keep in mind that baby might cry. It’s cool. You can handle it)
3. Take the recycling away

BUT, here’s the catch:

Often new parents will not admit they could use your help. When you ask if they need anything they will say, “No, no!”… but they are lying. How often do you ask for help? Probably not very often. Parents usually feel like they are supposed to have everything under control at all times and admitting they are out of laundry detergent is uncomfortable to say the least… or maybe when you ask they can’t think of what they need right at that second because they are wondering where they left their sanity. But either way, there is SOMETHING they need.

Now that I have learned this I am #1) going to follow the “bring something, do something, take something away” mantra for family and friends with new little ones, and #2) when my baby arrives do my darndest to accept help when family and friends offer it. I know I would be honoured to pick up some coffee and carrots if one of my friends asked me to do it, so I am going to try to swallow my pride and let people help me.

The more we accept help the closer we will get to rocking our happy, helpful communities.

And the less chance we will have of running out of toilet paper.

More belly bump pics:

27 weeks pregnant (christmas edition)

26 weeks pregnant (psychedelic tool edition)

25 weeks pregnant (clean freak)

24 weeks pregnant

23 weeks pregnant (the meltdown)

22 weeks pregnant (grand canyon edition)

21 weeks pregnant

20 weeks pregnant

19 weeks pregnant

18 weeks pregnant

My brother sent me a recipe for potato leek soup, here it is (a veganized version… meaning this is a vegan dish (I added some herbs and spice too cuz mamma likes it HAWT)). My non-vegan husband ate and loved it, so trust me, it’s good, even if you’re a carnivore).

Tasty and super easy to make, fabulous recipe!

Ingredients:

• 6 potatoes, diced (after reading this article on 7 Foods Even Food Safety Experts Won’t Eat I opted for organic potatoes)
• 2 leeks, just use the white and light green parts, in 1/2 inch to 1 inch pieces
• 2 tbsp vegan butter (I use Earth Balance, but you could just use olive oil if you have that handy)
• 2 cups vegetable broth
• 1 tsp dried basil
• 1 tsp dried thyme
• 1 tbsp paprika
• salt and pepper to taste
• tabasco (or any hot sauce you have on hand) to taste

Directions:

Boil the potatoes in water until cooked, about 15 minutes. Drain well.

In a large skillet (I ended up using a pot actually because my skillet wasn’t big enough), saute the leeks in the butter until soft, about 8 minutes (don’t brown them, leeks don’t like that, they end up tasting burnt).

Add the vegetable broth and the potatoes and cook for a few more minutes. Add yer herbs and spices. Stir some more.

Transfer 1/2 to 3/4 of the mixture to a blender and blend until smooth. I don’t blend it all because I like having some crunchy bits.

Add salt and pepper to taste. Add hot sauce to taste.

I served this with quinoa to give it a bit more heft- brown rice would work too.

Serves about, oh I dunno… 4? John and I had this for 2 nights, plus I had some for lunch today. John is a big eater so it makes a decent amount.

Enjoy! If you try it let me know what you think!

I started writing this letter in my journal in the wee hours of Christmas morning…

Christmas Morning, 2011

Dear Bambino,

As I write this you and I are sitting by the Christmas tree at Grandma and Grandpa’s house. It is pitch black outside. I am writing by the twinkly multi-coloured lights of the Christmas tree… Santa has been here and everyone else in the house is still fast asleep.

You have apparently inherited the Ecstatic For Christmas gene from Uncle Chad because at about 4 o’clock this morning you started bopping around in ma’ belly. At this point you aren’t socking me in the lungs with a vengeance or karate chopping my solar plexis Chuck Norris style, but you do squiggle around like a caffeine-happy dolphin when you’re awake, so when you’re up you let me know it. Now, while Dad slumbers away in the bedroom and a hint of snow falls on the lawn outside, you and I sit here in the quiet enjoying the early hours of Christmas and the anticipation of the day. Together.

Your dad and I can hardly wait to meet you.

I am now 27 weeks pregnant; 6 months and 3 weeks. In about 13 more weeks we get to hold you and kiss your nose and squish your cheeks. And change your diapers. In some moments it feels like those 3 months are a lifetime away and I just want to hold you NOW, the sooner the better. In other moments I have a minor freak out because, holy crap, The Powers That Be are letting us have a BABY, if you can believe it. We’re going to be fully responsible for you. Like, all of you. What if we break you or something?

I am really liking being pregnant (ask me in another 4 weeks how I’m doing when I am significantly more swollen… but for now, things are peachy). My back is sore by the end of the day and you seem to be growing by the second which is making my belly as hard as a bowling ball, but other than that this is fun. From a purely vain perspective, my skin has never been better and I think my round belly is fascinating, all smooth and drum-like. My inny belly button is disappearing. It is hilarious.

You are getting stronger. At night I lay back and watch my stomach roll up and down as you stretch and wiggle and get comfortable- usually you don’t settle on my bladder and I thank you for that (seriously, high-fives for not parking on my bladder. There was a day when you decided to do that and I had to pee every 10 minutes. Our current arrangement is better). Sometimes when I poke my belly you poke back. I love it. I pat and rub my belly throughout the day and I’ve started listening to salsa and classical in the hopes your taste and appreciation for music will be far better than mine.

That shouldn’t be too hard, actually. My taste in music pretty much sucks. I’ll be counting on you to remind me of this from time to time.

I have some insecurities, lemme tell ya. Everything to do with babies is a contentious issue: pregnancy, birth, breastfeeding, vaccination… that’s my focus so far in terms of researching and living How I Want to Raise My Child, but from what I’m told it won’t end once you’re born. Hell no, this is just the beginning. Strangers give me a once over and ask me if I’m taking care of myself. My dental hygienist shares bleeding nipple stories WHILE HER HANDS ARE IN MY MOUTH and I have no means of escape. Out of necessity I am getting a thicker skin. Your dad is much better at letting all this roll off his back than I am, but I am also learning to take feedback from strange places in stride. I’m learning more and more to rely on my instincts. To trust my ability to make sound decisions. To nod and smile when the situation calls for it.

It’s good that it takes babies almost 10 months to arrive on the scene- it takes their parents at least that long to get their crap together.

Merry Christmas, Little One. Having you part of this holiday season has made it absolutely wonderful and happy and sparkly in ways I couldn’t have imagined. We can’t wait to hold you and share our Christmas traditions- and create so many more – with you.

I’m a little behind on the belly photos- so here I am at 27 weeks pregnant! And Christmas-y!

Since my dogs weren’t around I figured I needed some sidekicks for these photos- enter Nutcracker Guy and Reindeer Dudes. And some gold tinsel thrown in for good measure.

In the top right photo my belly is more pointy than in the photo on the left. Weird.

We spent Christmas in Northern Ontario this year and it was not a Wintery Wonderland Christmas. We had a White Boxing Day… but Christmas songs are not penned on the glittery sparkliness of Boxing Day.

I had Tofurkey for Christmas dinner this year and, no word of a lie you guys, it was tasty. John and my father-in-law even liked it and they are full on carnivores. It was chock full of sodium so I felt like a bit of a sausage about an hour after eating it, but there is a lot of salt in all the Christmas fixings anyway, so really that roly poly feeling probably just helped to get me into the Christmas spirit.

All in all a fabulous Christmas with family and the Belly Bump. We couldn’t help but think about how different next Christmas is going to be…

More belly bump pics:

26 weeks pregnant (psychedelic tool edition)

25 weeks pregnant (clean freak)

24 weeks pregnant

23 weeks pregnant (the meltdown)

22 weeks pregnant (grand canyon edition)

21 weeks pregnant

20 weeks pregnant

19 weeks pregnant

18 weeks pregnant