It has occurred to me that Little Miss is going to teach me far more in her lifetime than I will ever teach her. She was teaching me before she was even born… so I thought I would start writing down the gems I’m learning in the hopes I’ll remember all the things to thank her for.
The first time I looked at this picture I was hit by a series of rapid flashes:
She’s so tiny! The world is so huge! No matter how big she gets she is ONE tiny person in a huge world and ohmygod there is just so much space!
I was expecting the next flash to be one of fear. I thought whatever I felt after putting together her smallness and the world’s world-ness was going to send me to envelope her in a slightly (for her) suffocating bear hug.
But it didn’t. What I actually felt completely surprised me:
I felt excited for her.
I thought: Wow. She’s one person in so much space and anything can happen.
And I smiled.
She has so much ahead of her. She’s going to learn things. She’s going to meet interesting people and eat bizarre food and be bored and laugh deep, deep belly laughs. She’s going to get nervous and do it anyway. She will probably (painfully) break a bone and at some point (more painfully) find herself in send-her-to-her-knees heartbreak… but she will heal and once she’s on the other side she will breathe more deeply and be able to empathize with the writers of really good love songs. I wish I could do the hard parts for her, but I can’t.
As it occurred to me that her one real job in all of this was to participate it struck me: That is my one real job as well. I want her to get in there and get her hands dirty. I want her to try things and fail at things (because that is part of it) and consider, maybe mull and DO (sometimes in reverse order). I don’t know if she’s going to be a jam-session-kind-of-person or a sky-dive-kind-of-person or a stare-at-the-stars-kind-of-person or all of the above or something else entirely but I do know it really doesn’t matter to me. Whatever her outlook I simply want for her to get in there and participate. She does exactly that now.
It’s what I want for myself as well. There are self-help gurus aplenty who will advise on how to Reach! Your! Potential! and Find Divine Inspiration/Dig Deep… but really it comes down to picking something and moving forward now.
She’s reminded me that anything is possible. Anything is always possible. Isn’t that exciting? When you jump in with both feet things are exhilarating. Remember exhilarating? Remember moving to the other side of the world, and wanting something really bad and being utterly curious?
Sometimes when I look at her I can at once see her as a newborn, a toddler, a student, and a grown woman. So much is going to happen for her. So much is happening for her TODAY.
So much is happening for all of us.
More my baby, my teacher
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