a haiku (that’s right, a haiku)

plush toysThere are piles of cotton everywhere in my house. Fuzzy blankets and squishy stuffed animals and bright mini socks and baskets of laundry and and and. It’s everywhere. It’s adorable and it drives me crazy. It’s so sweet and Little Miss loves it hugs it and names it George… and it drives me crazy.

And so! A poem:

Drowning in cotton
as cute, plush piles reach higher.
Makes me crave sharp stuff.

Too dark? Oh. Sorry. But I’ve been driven to writen a poem and YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.

I get a strange thrill out of frail objects these days. Breakable glasses of fully spicy wine (that don’t get knocked over)… delicate, dangly earrings (that don’t get yanked, really they are just pretty handles at this stage)… electronics (without peanut butter smudges)… sunglasses (ditto, smudges)… All this limp, safe cotton makes me jones for something fragile.

You? Does living dangerously now include being in the presence of things that are not indestructible?


guest post @ victoria mom: motherhood is a zoo- mom friends help

petting zoo family photo

I have a guest post over at Victoria Mom. Whoop!

If you feel so inclined, please check ‘er out!

Excerpt:

There are many aspects to being a mom that didn’t occur to me while I was pregnant. I didn’t think about how my suddenly thinning hair would end up in a permanent ponytail for months on end. I didn’t realize I would magically become that woman making goofy faces at stranger’s babies in supermarkets. And who knew I really can be fully functional on less than 3 hours of sleep (a little punchy maybe, but I’M NOT ASKING FOR MY HUSBAND’S INPUT)?

I also did not think about how one of the most important tasks I would have as a new mom would be to seek out and befriend other newbie moms. Not only for the playdate opportunities, but also for the ME-date opportunities (can I get a Hellll Yeah).

You can read the rest over at Victoria Mom.

Age: 11 months


on the move

stroller

She can do it HERSELF y’all.

Age: 14 months


my baby, my teacher: #4 anything is always possible

baby life

It has occurred to me that Little Miss is going to teach me far more in her lifetime than I will ever teach her. She was teaching me before she was even born… so I thought I would start writing down the gems I’m learning in the hopes I’ll remember all the things to thank her for.

The first time I looked at this picture I was hit by a series of rapid flashes:

She’s so tiny! The world is so huge! No matter how big she gets she is ONE tiny person in a huge world and ohmygod there is just so much space!

I was expecting the next flash to be one of fear. I thought whatever I felt after putting together her smallness and the world’s world-ness was going to send me to envelope her in a slightly (for her) suffocating bear hug.

But it didn’t. What I actually felt completely surprised me:

I felt excited for her.

I thought: Wow. She’s one person in so much space and anything can happen.

And I smiled.

She has so much ahead of her. She’s going to learn things. She’s going to meet interesting people and eat bizarre food and be bored and laugh deep, deep belly laughs. She’s going to get nervous and do it anyway. She will probably (painfully) break a bone and at some point (more painfully) find herself in send-her-to-her-knees heartbreak… but she will heal and once she’s on the other side she will breathe more deeply and be able to empathize with the writers of really good love songs. I wish I could do the hard parts for her, but I can’t.

As it occurred to me that her one real job in all of this was to participate it struck me: That is my one real job as well. I want her to get in there and get her hands dirty. I want her to try things and fail at things (because that is part of it) and consider, maybe mull and DO (sometimes in reverse order). I don’t know if she’s going to be a jam-session-kind-of-person or a sky-dive-kind-of-person or a stare-at-the-stars-kind-of-person or all of the above or something else entirely but I do know it really doesn’t matter to me. Whatever her outlook I simply want for her to get in there and participate. She does exactly that now.

It’s what I want for myself as well. There are self-help gurus aplenty who will advise on how to Reach! Your! Potential! and Find Divine Inspiration/Dig Deep… but really it comes down to picking something and moving forward now.

She’s reminded me that anything is possible. Anything is always possible. Isn’t that exciting? When you jump in with both feet things are exhilarating. Remember exhilarating? Remember moving to the other side of the world, and wanting something really bad and being utterly curious?

Sometimes when I look at her I can at once see her as a newborn, a toddler, a student, and a grown woman. So much is going to happen for her. So much is happening for her TODAY.

So much is happening for all of us.

More my baby, my teacher

#3 naked parenting

#2 rest after eating

#1 born this way


the roses with grandma

rose

Stopping to smell the roses with Grandma.

This was right after my brother’s graduation. He has a PhD. He’s a Molecular Pathologist (I might be bragging a bit).

Little Miss was a rock star during the ceremony. She chattered during the President’s speech and entertained the family sitting behind us with her antics.

This could be where I go on about how before we know it we could be at Little Miss’s graduation. But I’m not going to do it. I WON’T. Sigh.

Age: 1 year going on 14 years OHMYGOD.


workin’ out

image

Just taking a rest between sets.

Age: 13 1/2 months


in hiding

dog baby

Kayloo hiding from the baby.

Kayloo has always loved her crate, but now she LOVES her crate. She loves Little Miss as well (mostly because she is usually covered in food)… but I think her crate is a little piece of protected heaven.


helping

helping

She is a helpful little monkey.

I remember when I was a kid begrudgingly sitting beside our huge box of a TV changing the channels for my parents. I was a human channel changer on these occasions. I was not pleased. You’d think they made me sit there for hours they way I carried on:

click… click… click… ??????… this channel? this channel? thischannelthischannelthischannel??? ugh…. click… uggggggghhhhh…

I remember declaring more than once in beleaguered exasperation (because I had it so rough), “When I get old [ahem] I’m having 10 kids SO I DON’T HAVE TO DO ANYTHING EVER!!!!”

My parents nodded and smiled.

Age: 13 months


stark raving you say?

starkraving

This bottle of Stark Raving Red is just lovely. NOT as lovely as the next bottle of red I’m going to post (it is Lovely, capital Hello) but for around $14 very decent (this Jennifer nails it).

The guy on the label kind of looks like Tom Cruise, doesn’t it? Do with that what you will.

Enjoy.

splash

 


mother’s day: the magic the mundane

Mothers Day_2013

My second Mother’s Day. The 2012 Mother’s Day picture makes me smile. I’m smiling but my chest was killing me and I was afraid she was going to start screaming her head off at any second. But I wanted the picture so I soldiered on.

I am not a trooper as a general rule but when it comes to capturing the moment it’s a whole different story.

I didn’t realize Mother’s Day was such a big deal until I became a mother myself. *Sorry Mom.* Now I know it’s a big deal. A big freaking deal. I’m not saying it’s a day you have to throw a bunch of money at but I’m also not saying you shouldn’t.*

Ha. Ha. Just kidding. ahem…

Notice the roadrash on Naomi’s forehead. Patios can be mean.

Being a mom is weird because so much of what we do is so incredibly important and so much of what we do is so incredibly mundane. The dichotomy can be mind numbing:

Prepare food (again). Watch her not eat it. Pretend to clean house. Find something entertaining to do. Find something more entertaining to do. Shit, is she eating toilet paper (again)? Make mom friends. Make sure she doesn’t kill herself on the stairs. Practice getting down the stairs. Wash diapers. Wash face. Wipe nose. Play “This little piggy went to the market.” Belly laugh because she’s so damn funny. Go work out. Don’t make it to the gym in time for playcare. OH MY GOD IS SHE CHOKING? No. Take photos. Post photos for Grandparents. Read something non-baby related. Hug her. Get hugged. Gaze at her lovingly. Clip nails nail. Take the dogs for a walk. Come home because she’s freaking out. Let her dismantle cupboard because I left making dinner too late (again). Wait for John to come home. Try not to overwhelm John with chatter. Bath. Water everywhere. Toys away. Calm. Not calm. Calm. Sleep. Back to sleep. Back to sleep. Is she ever going to sleep? Sleep… Prepare food…

mothers day drink

Alcohol in the morning is okay if it’s peach.

After brunch we came home for Naomi’s nap and John and I did some work while she slept. Then we went for a walk and I had a Habit coffee (half-caff, she didn’t sleep the night before, so good), before coming home and following Naomi around the house trying to get her to eat. Then she went down for bed and crashed on the couch for some Grey’s Anatomy.

I am documenting this for posterity’s sake. I imagine once the judo/dance/soccer/singing/chess classes start I’ll find this list of events charming.

Thank you for making me a mom, Monkey. I love you more than you’ll ever know and I’ll love you even more tomorrow.

baby steps

Age: 13 1/2 months

*Just for the record, John does a bang up job of making me feel special. Brunch, flowers, clean kitchen, doesn’t complain when I insist on watching Grey’s Anatomy… good job, babe. Thank you!

More Mother’s Day

Mother’s Day 2012

Mother’s Day 2011

Mother’s Day 2010